I woke up with a black eye this morning

This morning, the lovely morning that it was, I woke up with a black eye (Christa, I must apologize--if you think you are going to get a "Sarah" story, you are sadly mistaken). Why? I honestly have no idea. Due to the fact that I have no idea why I have a black eye, I have decided to make this blog about why I woke up with a black eye. Who knows, it may even solve some early childhood problems which I have blocked out due to traumatic memories.

So, without further ado: Top Ten Reasons Why Sarah (Miss Freese, as she is known to her students) Has A Black Eye

10. The dog ate my homework (oh wait...)
9. It spontaneously combusted (To those in VT, yes, I know I just shamelessly plagarized).
8. My abusive husband got angry because I forgot to put the seat up.
7. What door?
6. I had a nightmare about the return of the last Samuri (this one might not be so far off...)
5. I was protecting myself from a heard of flying cattle.
4. God decided I needed to wear eye liner and couldn't think of a better way to tell me.
3. I am dying of whooping cough.
2. I am dying of gingivitis.

And the number one reason why Sarah has a black eye...

1. Ever see Fight Club? Yeah... 'nough said.

Okay, I realize that last one, and quite arguably the whole list, was rather childish. But hey... can you blame me? I have a black eye.

P.S. Did ya'll know that people in VT use maple syrup on their sweet potatoes? What kind of country is this???